Demented serial killer Michael Myers has returned, yet again, in Halloween: Resurrection. This 7th sequel to 1978's Halloween has our murderous masked maniac taking on cyberspace as the star of an internet webcast. No wonder the original title of this epic was MichaelMyers.com! Want to know why they changed it? Try going to www.MichaelMyers.com and you'll know! As for the new title, the only resurrection attempted here is that of a long thought dead film franchise.
In the first few minutes we're treated to a recap of the story so far, as well as to an extended ending of the previous sequel, Halloween: H2O. This is the only part that includes Jamie Lee Curtis. There are a couple of fun moments in these opening scenes, including a passing of the torch, so to speak, but nothing that has anything to do with the rest of the film.
Meanwhile, over in a completely different movie, rapper Busta Rhymes has put together a scary website reality program. He's chosen a group of teenagers to wear RadioShack quality head-cams and stay in a camera-filled spooky house overnight, while nerds everywhere watch on. As far as slasher flick victims go, Busta has chosen predictably. We have the sarcastic joker, the self-centered slut, the 'opposites attract' couple, the good girl, and, of course, the black guy. Guess who survives! And by the way, that spooky house is where Michael Myers once lived. They say you can't go home again, but apparently no one ever told poor Michael...
I'm sure that on paper this sounded like a great idea. It promises frights, thrills, some high-tech stuff, a bit of voyeurism, and an indestructable, knife wielding killer. Unfortunately, the results are surprisingly dull, with the only real surprises being the ones that never come. Resurrection makes such a complete break from the original Halloween story that Michael Myers is reduced to a generic psycho with no motive other than to rid the world of meddling teens. As if you couldn't guess, Michael slices and dices for all those cyber-viewers, but nobody really pays much attention to him until, of course, it's way too late.
This is horror-by-numbers, with very little imagination. Here's another example. Imagine you're making a horror movie with a popular rap star in it. What would you have him do in your film? That's right, you would depend on him to mug for the camera and call everyone 'mutherf**ker'. Ho ho, now that's good cinema. Okay, no it isn't. Intended as comic relief, Busta Rhymes is completely wasted in this movie. Actually, now that I think of it, pretty much everyone is wasted in this film.
One idea that I did like was the use of a palm-pilot in relaying messages from a viewer to one of our hapless teens, guiding her away from Myers. It's sort of like one of those 'choose your own adventure' games played for real, with the viewer typing things like, "Try the window." or "He's in the hallway!" However, this neat little touch is somewhat marred by the movie phenomenon whereby frantic typing results in letters that appear on a computer screen slow enough for the audience to see each one. Also, our helpful viewer types entire sentences when one or two words would get the message across faster. Can you say, "desperately seeking suspense"?
The only thing Halloween: Resurrection really proves is that there's a lot of garbage on the internet, and even more in movie sequels. If you must see this turkey, wait until Halloween. By then, it ought to be on home video!